What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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