How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my sisters under your porch take her home
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
