who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Found your dick twin last night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Randomize
