there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
