Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
