i don't plan on having that self control this summer
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
