Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
