we're blogging at a bar
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
