I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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