i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
