Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
