That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
