Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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