It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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