will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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