Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
