I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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