I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
