at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
