I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
