its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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