I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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