I'm lost and stupid without you.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
