Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
