? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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