6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
