she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
