You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
