THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
