Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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