We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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