I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
