She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
