honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
