I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
