is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
