JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
