She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Someone shattered a urinal.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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