i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
