im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
