quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
