dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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