dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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