y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
