Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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