I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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