Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
