I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
