Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
