All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
