I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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